My husband and I had to put our dog of 12 years down last month. Just 5 days after the 6th anniversary of Bob’s passing. Our dog, Mason, was the world to us. He was our son. He died of cancer and hung on for a month after surgery. I slept next to him every night and was with him almost every day, thankfully being able to work from home. He declined rapidly, going blind, then not wanting to eat, ultimately not being able to walk. My husband and I were next to him, holding him, as he had a stroke Sunday night, shaking in his plush dog bed surrounded by his stuffed animals. We rushed him to the ER, I snuggled up with him in the back of the Jeep, wrapping 2 blankets and my arms around him and talking to him softly, letting him know everything will be okay.
The loss of my brother has helped me understand the grieving process. I will grieve differently for Mason, but it’s still the same amount of pain. Mason was my loyal companion for 12 years. I cry every day, mostly mornings and evenings, when I miss him the most. Missing the person or pet is the worst part of loss. There is nothing you can do about it. They’re gone. It’s helpful to keep talking to them, to realize they are still with us, but it’s obviously different. One major thing grieving over the loss of my brother has taught me is that it’s okay to cry, to let it out, to feel that emotion, any time it wants to present itself. Allow it to overcome you, do not fight it. It will subside. And, of course, as with any loss of a loved one, the ONLY thing that will help us heal is time. Drugs, therapy, meditation, new hobbies, none of that helps as much as time.
http://flic.kr/p/9wbiqh
The Tree
A few days ago I was walking Mason down our neighborhood street like I do every evening after work. I always take my keys, some plastic bags, and my phone. After about 20 minutes, we were walking back towards the house and I just stopped and noticed a tree. I pass by it everyday but for some reason I just wanted to stand there a moment, look up, see the texture and its colors and silhouette against the sky. I took my phone out and took a photo as Mason patiently waited, sniffing the ground. I kept looking up. Then as I was in the action of taking another photo I saw something in the corner of my left eye in the sky. A HERON! A huge blue heron flew right above the tree! Unfortunately, I didn't get him in the photo because of the camera delay. But oh my god a heron. It was amazing. I understood. I was in shock. I felt like fainting. I felt like screaming of joy. It was my bro saying hi. It's happened before. There is no explanation for this but of him saying hi, him telling me everything is fine, and him telling me he is with me. HE IS WITH ME, ALWAYS. I am so glad I got that photo of the tree. It doesn't show the heron, but it shows nature's beauty and the awe-inspiring wonder of the universe and how there are things we cannot explain but we can certainly believe.
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